A lot of the time as a codependent you get caught up in others lives. You end up being obsessed with another and you feel accountable for what happens in the other’s life. Your own life falls to the wayside and you barely see.
How can you tell if you are entangled in a codependent relationship? As a codependent you do not like to have anybody mad at you, so you continue to let things ride out as they are. You do not have the individual power that would keep you separate from others to the point you barely acknowledge your own life due to the fact that it is so wrapped up in another’s. The mistreatment continues as your self-confidence plummets. Your inner peace is damaged so that you can receive the love and approval you look for.
You think that if you continue on the road you are traveling you will assist heal the other. That is the goal in your mind, but a codependent will never recover another by tolerating abuse or by continuing to save them and bail them out of situations, or make excuses for them.
In order for you to begin constructing your life with sights on your own life and not others, you will have to detach yourself from the other. You do not need to completely remove from the other, just from the locations of their life you want not to be included with. Be strong enough to separate yourself from those locations of the others’ life and stop spending time making excuses for them.
We are all accountable for ourselves and the options we make. And when we make those options there are consequences that follow. There is an old parable relating to an older Cherokee male teaching his grand son about life.
Start to concentrate on your own life once again. Set limits and boundaries on the locations you do not want to be associated with. Do not blame the other or get stuck in anger concerning past situations. This is not empowering to you. It was your option as much as the other person’s. Start to begin looking at your own life and methods you can enhance it. Start to listen to your inner guide. Start to develop a healthy boundary in your codependent relationship.
You can not fill a space you feel within your life by somebody or something outside yourself. Stand up for yourself and do not let the circumstance continue as it has. You can begin to develop your life with the dreams you may have forgotten about.